Orthofail

 I was genuinely excited to find out there was a Modern Orthodox synagogue in Prospect Heights -not too far from where I live in Brooklyn. It sounded like the perfect kick-off to Orthodox conversion shul shopping.

Tribal Acceptance

Israeli SuperHero

Last night on the eve of my 2nd “Jewnniversary,” I attended a house party in Manhattan.

When We All Get Together

I had the opportunity to cover a story for The Villager, a weekly community paper in New York City about an interfaith music event in the East Village.

NEW york

snowy home

I am officially vacationed OUT…which sounds like a “1st world problem” to the nth degree. Since December 22nd I’ve been in California visiting my parents (for the Christmas holiday) and reconnecting with some of my very best friends in Lake Tahoe and Sacramento. It has been a delightfully indulgent experience to say the least but I am ready to head home.

Dreams and Weekends.

YJP in red.

Perhaps this is some sort of a tribal milestone; my first Jewish retreat nightmare. I just woke up from a strange dream about a weekend retreat called “Rainbow Lodge”. I think it was billed to be “Woodstock sans the Music”  (already sounds like a winner).

The Cat Came Back…?

Boboh is missing. Boboh is my 2.5 year old cat of questionable intelligence (seriously he is developmentally delayed) and for yet to be explained reasons has runaway. After speaking with each of our neighbors and accusing them of catnapping we (my brother and I) think we spotted him coming into the our backyard via the “rape lot” fence entrance. The Rape Lot is actually just a parking lot where sketchy vehicles & characters can be found.  It is also a place that I keeps tabs on from my bedroom window just in case I can be used as a witness (it is an up and coming Brooklyn area) in a criminal trial.

Bibi-and-Me-nomics

Selfie with Bibi

Disclaimer: I don’t want Shiksa-ism to take a solid politic stance…I want it to be a political safe space for people of all opinions to engage each other in respectful debate…not to mention that I am still figuring out my views.

Mr. Bibi Netanyahu does not speak for all of Israel or all Jews. 

While living in Israel over the past few months I learned to take my opinion of Middle Eastern politics down a notch. I don’t know enough, I don’t live in Israel (or a surrounding nation) most policies don’t effect my life and things are…complicated.

Chasidic Chipsters

I am endlessly fascinated by Orthodox Jews who are able to not let their religious observances hinder their creativity.

I had heard about this fashion line for the trendy modest woman in Crown Heights called “Mimu Maxi”. It’s not just a store for Orthodox women but for every woman who chooses to dress modestly…and drinks PBRs (just kidding!).

They were recently featured on a segment of “Style Out There”. Check it out.

http://www.refinery29.com/inside-hasidic-fashion

Hopefully they won’t mind that I used a photo from their website!

My Thoughts…

Where do I even start? A few weeks ago heartbreak. The three boys did not come home in the way we had prayed for. The protests, the hash tagged signs and the solidarity of the Jewish community amounted in three funerals followed by retaliation of an innocent Arab boy by our own hands (extremists…but Jews just the same). This is the first time as a Jew I have felt connected to what’s happening in Israel.

Time has only brought more bloodshed. I find myself proudly defending Israel on a daily basis. Although having said this I also find it difficult to defend a country that I’ve never been to not to mention that also has a rather complicated and controversial past that I am not too well versed in. The Middle East is a complicated place so I will keep my argument simple: this war is not about the land or hating the everyday innocent people that live within the boundaries of Gaza. It is about fighting terrorism, it is about fighting for our peoplehood. Hamas wants the Jewish people dead at any cost. Their hate runs so deep that there is no room to compromise. I’ll be honest…I didn’t know much about Hamas before a few weeks ago. They were founded to liberate Palestine. That is their right and I don’t blame them— even as a Zionist. However in this process they have stripped themselves of their own humanity. They thrive on hatred and how to justify it. They are so blinded by their mission they forget to look after the safety of their own people. This is what extremists do.

I am repulsed at all the anti Arab videos/propaganda I have seen posted on Facebook. Just as I am appalled that there are Muslim children learning to hate Jews I would hate to think that we are indoctrinating the same attitudes within our own community. I think it is unfair not to mention an inaccurate representation to lump all followers of Islam with the extremist groups. We need to be mindful and not slip into the ways of those we are fighting against.

So as I sit comfortably at my desk in New York City not having to prepare myself for an air strike or feeling imminently threatened as an American Jew I think of all those fighting for my right to even exist and to have the chance to call Israel my home. Many of the soldiers there I know personally or are good friends of friends here. My thoughts are also turned to the innocent lives that have been shattered due to the violence on both sides. May we see and feel peace soon.

Mechitza Troubles.

Ill be honest;  I was lured by the words “mashed potato bar” to Saturday shabbat services this past weekend.  I have looked upon my Saturday Shabbat service attendance as  “optional”  and have substituted  text study and multiple naps in the comfort of my apartment instead.  Being of the self aware ex-shiksa that I am, I know the real reasons behind my lack of attendance; fear of getting lost within the services and I really, really, really love sleeping in.

As I’ve been feeling a spiritual tug to at least discover what I’ve been missing out on, I accepted an invitation to attend a Modern Orthodox “beginners” service on the Upper West Side with a friend (and yes featuring a post service mashed potato bar). I have attended several other events (text studies and holidays) hosted by this congregation but had yet to attend services. I walked in at 9am Saturday morning and was immediately confronted with the presence of  (please cue music from Psycho) a mechitza.   I am mechitza phobic.

I think I understand its purpose; focus on G-d vs. Jewish man meat. A terrific concept in theory, however it does not take into consideration several factors.

1. As most mechitzot are not floor to ceiling partitions, I can still cast a lusty gaze. I’m a rebel.

2.  Same sex attraction? What if I am thinking of the woman davening next to me?

3. Most importantly, I am at shul for G-d and to daven with my community…

Perhaps the most disconcerting aspect of the mechitza (thus far in my limited experience) is that it segregates the joy of davening as part of a community.  During Saturday’s service the men’s side was joyfully engaged complete with an a cappella type group while my side kept fairly silent throughout the three hour service.  I had a very similar experience during Simchat Torah while attending another orthodox event. My side of the mechitza featured burned out- sheitel wearing-gossipy-Orthodox women —a stark contrast of the men dancing, drinking and celebrating the Torah on the other side of the partition.

This can’t be the intention of the mechitza…can it?

Faith is an ACTION word to me and I very much want to take a Jackie Chan role in it …particularly the more familiar I become with the prayers and customs. I often think about exploring a Modern Orthodox conversion however such experiences make me doubt that my feminist progressive ways can find my niche in this more observant world.

After emailing a draft of this post to a friend of mine, she suggested (via her mother) that I check out a congregation called Darkhei Noam. It is apparently a very inclusive observant community in Manhattan.  I will report back with my findings.